Naps

So right now I'm tired and groggy and just a bit of a mess. Some of you dear readers may know that I suffer from nightmares. Now I understand that everyone gets nightmares, but I have nightmares six days out of the week. I also have a lot of struggle falling asleep because while trying to fall asleep my mind will race and I will think of sad and stressful things. My most recent way of dealing with this has been napping, which seems to work well. But I just tried to take a nap and my mind started stressing about work, and school, and all of those lovely bits. So now I'm tired, I'm out of breath, and I am stressed. I do have a post that I am going to post in a minute and I may write some more. I was just wondering do any of you suffer from this? Do you feel bad? Are you stressed about school? Do you have trouble sleeping? Tell me about it. We can help each other with some advice. I find what helps me fall asleep is documentaries. I find them relaxing because while watching them I feel like I am bettering my life, plus they always have really soothing voices. So I recommend those. I hope you all are doing alright and not freaking out about school and work and life.

What depression does.- Warning: Is about depression.

What depression does

Is eat you from the inside.

It is a parasite that no one can view.

What depression does

Is take away your life.

It is a battle that you are always fighting.

What depression does

Is show you other options.

It makes horrible things seem oh so nice.

What depression does

Is control your mind.

It is a demon that you always will fight.

What depression does

Is cause you to forget happy moments.

It will steal them and make them the worst.

What depression has done

Is convince people to hurt themselves.

It has made them resort to horrible things to feel/get high/get noticed.

What depression has done

Is take countless lives.

It has made people believe they weren't worth air.

What depression has done

Is rape us of happy moments.

It has made me, and many others, hate beauty.

What depression does

Is eat you from the inside.

It is a parasite that no one can view...

This was inspired by some things written by different people about Robin Williams' death, and while no one knows his story I just got to writing due to it and things I was reading. I am not claiming to know the situation. I just decided to write about my experience and let loose.

Robin Williams

Read about Robin Williams' death here. Can't believe this, he was really great. He was so funny and just was a major part of a lot of people's childhood's of the newer generations especially. Can't believe this.

Let's talk about catcalling

So I am a female and like most females I have been catcalled. Now for you people out there, male or female, wondering why this is bad I will explain to you and tell you what has gone through my mind when I was catcalled, and what goes through my mind when anything really makes me uncomfortable. First let me list the problems with catcalling: #1 Let me explain to you that being catcalled is not attractive no matter how you look. #2 There is a difference between flirting with me and catcalling. You should know this difference. #3 I don't need you to shout and hoot and tell me about the things you want to do with this vessel that is holding my mind and soul. #4 Catcalling assumes that I want you to touch me, I don't. Maybe I did before you opened your mouth, but I especially don't now. #5 I know I look attractive, and you can appreciate that without making me feel as if you may force yourself upon me. #6 When you catcall you are making yourself look ignorant to my feelings and thoughts, to be honest you probably are ignorant to them. You are displaying your ignorance. You should tuck that away. #7 For all you know I have crippling social anxiety and what you just said caused me to go home and either drink, overdose, or have a terrible panic attack. Thanks. #8 I don't catcall you, if I think you look good I will either not do anything or I will want to learn more about you so I can judge your personality. Because humans are more than their looks. And I am human. #9 You are making me out to be a sex object. I am not a sex object. And #10 You do not wish women would catcall, and you will hopefully have some understanding as too why you don't wish that by the end of this piece.

Now I will go into what I have felt personally the first time I was catcalled. I was thirteen years old walking to a park alone, when a car drove past full of about five men who decided to honk and shout at me. This is what went through my mind and has stayed there ever since. This list will include some things that went through my mind in other situations as well.

• "Please don't stop the car. Please. Please don't stop the car."
• "Pretend to talk to someone on the phone. They won't come after you if they think you are speaking to someone."
• "Call dad. Call mom. Call your brother. Call someone. Anyone. Call."
• "How does anyone think that is attractive? It is gross."
• "Please don't stop the car. Please just drive away. Please drive away."
• "What will I do if they stop the car? There are five of them. I only have one of me."
• "I can't run away in these pants."
• "Where is my ride? When will they get here?"
• "Please don't stop the car."
• "Just keep walking."
• "I can't flip them off, if I do that they may stop."
• "Please don't stop the car."
• "I don't want to get hurt. Don't let them hurt me."
• "Why did I wear these jeans? They're too tight. I should have worn sweatpants."
• "How old do they think I am?"
• "Please don't stop the car."
• "Please don't hurt me."
• "If I make it out of this I will go right home and throw away these jeans."
• "Please don't stop the car."

Now I will move onto random times where people have made me uncomfortable.

• "Why are you standing so close? You didn't stand that close with that guy who helped you earlier."
• "Don't touch me to show me. You didn't touch the other associate. Use your words."
• "I need to let them know where I'm going so if something goes wrong they will know where I am."
• "I need an approximate time as to when I should be home so that if I'm not back someone knows."
• "Please don't put your hand on my knee. I didn't do anything to show you I would enjoy that."
• "I have breasts, please remember that when you are trying to touch my arm (which is not something I even remotely want you to do as I don't know you and I'm just trying to help you out as is in my job description). I don't want my breasts touched."

As you can see these are some things that just have happened to me. Here is a bonus, advice I have received from other people I know and some advice that you may want. If you are a male you may have never heard of this advice but I think it's good to know because men can get hurt too.

• Don't leave your drink unattended, even if you are at someones house.
• Don't get out off your car if it breaks down.
• Don't let the cab driver drop you off or pick you up at your house.
• Don't let your date who you have never personally met pick you up or drop you off at your house.
• Don't sit in your car in a parking lot. Get in your car and leave.
• Do have a dog.
• Do keep your keys in your bedroom so that way if you don't have any service in your house you can set off your car alarm and someone will know.
• Do tell someone where you are going and with who.
• Do tell someone when you expect to be home.
• Do know what you could use to defend yourself if the need comes up.
• Do expect the worse and hope for the best.

I understand that this seems paranoid but really a lot of bad things can happen to anyone. You should always have a way out. Remember that you have a right to say no and that if someone does not respect that you have the right to take action.

And if you are a man who catcalls, remember that list of thoughts. Remember that that person has thoughts and opinions just like you do. Remember that person could have a family, remember those things. Remember that they are not there for you to stare at. Remember that you may possibly have a daughter one day. Remember that your female cousin or sister or aunt or grandmother or mother could have this happening at that exact moment or could have had it happen before. Remember your future daughters. Remember your future spouses. Remember how horrible it feels when someone scares you. Remember your dignity and forget your ignorance.