Spanking.

So I have a feeling this blog post will be talked about if not screamed about, but it is something that bothers me. Parents who argue that spanking or humiliating is the only form of discipline and that this era of kids are all spoiled brats if they don't get spanked. How about this, in one house I got spanked, got my mouth washed out with soap, got cussed at, got screamed out, and basically got punished horribly in ways that are not right to go into right now. In the other house I didn't, and in the other house I was happier, not "Oh here I don't get punished" but in a "Here I won't be hurt physically and am given the respect of being talked to," now I'm not saying that kids aren't disrespectful, ALL kids are at some point (you were too, you just don't remember), some more than others, but when you argue that you got spanked and were fine #1 you are saying society shouldn't progress in its parenting methods and #2 you aren't fine because you think it's okay to hit people.

Now this is where you may be saying "I don't hit people." And that is false because children are people, they have minds and feelings and are much more intelligent than anyone gives them credit for.  You also have to think back, when you were spanked did you stop doing the act or did you stop doing it in front of the person who would spank you? I'm also not saying every kid is the same, at some point in their life a child may need to be spanked, but that should not be a first resort. Your first resort should be to sit down and talk to that tiny human being, because if a child has some type of anxiety disorder, or depression, or whatever, and you don't know about it during a young age, that could totally worsen it.

Now here is something I am going to do that a lot of people don't do. I, as a young adult, am going to tell you ways I wish someone would have handled punishment with me in one house and the way they did handle it with me in another.
1: Talk. Yes that child can talk and explain and retain information thanks to you and nature. So if you calmly explain to a child what is wrong and why then, even if you don't realize it, they will think about it more.
2: Remember that humiliation will cause that person to humiliate, you always hear how bullies were/are once bullied (I'm not saying you or your child are bullies just listen). The same happens when children are humiliated, also it is much easier for children to be hurt on a core level because they don't know what real pain is and children are judged much more by their piers than adults are.
3: Pick what actions need consequences from you. If your kid is lactose intolerant and he eats ice-cream when you said no, you don't have to yell at him. That is his choice and man he is going to suffer and slowly learn he probably shouldn't eat ice-cream. If your kid goes to a party and stays out past curfew, yeah you should probably ground them and take away their phone and some other stuff, but you should explain why it upsets you and the dangers.
4: Start when a kid is young. Yeah, when your kid is crying at four years old it's easier to just give them the thing they want, but no one is going to like that kid when he is ten years old and throwing a fit.
5: Have steady rules that are communicated. Hell think of rules together, then sit down and discuss each rule and its reasoning. People will follow rules a lot more if you explain them and they will grow a sense of responsibility.
6: Just talk. They have a voice and opinions just like you, and those opinions are just as valid. Kids are not these evil little monsters who have no conscience, they just need help finding theirs. You have to help them with that by teaching by example and explaining the entire way.

I'm not saying let your kid do whatever they want, give them consequences and make them think, but you don't have to hit them or make them eat soap or scream as a first resort. Talk to them and give them respect because they are trying to understand the world and follow all these different rules when no one gives them respect. That's hard for them, everyone snubs them because they are a kid, which in certain situations can be extremely difficult because you don't get to speak up in your own life. And if you need some help and your kid is extra difficult, get some. Communicate, respect, and realize that you are raising a small, innocent, sooner-than-you-think-to-be-adult.

Hope you munchkins are having a good day!