Hi guys!

Hey guys! So I'm not sure if I will film and post a video today but I'm working the early shift at work so there will definitely be a blog post! I really wish you guys would have commented, even if not on here on facebook or twitter! But I think I am in the mood for a lighthearted post because it is my significant other's birthday! (Happy birthday babe!) Also it's raining, so today should be a pretty easy day! Hope you all are having a wonderful day! Byyyyyeeee munckins! <3

Some updates! (Leave opinions in comments.)

So if you are following us on Instagram (@incoerciblelife) you may know that I got a camera for Christmas. What this means is that videos are going to be made! I am actually thinking of making a vlog today because I am a busy person! One problem though, I dropped my phone yesterday and the screen decided to crack. Not a little crack, a HUGE bunch of cracks and now I am spending over $100.00 to fix it. I may post a picture to Instagram so go follow that. I really don't want to vlog with my camera because it is huge and will be annoying to drag around. I also want you guys to know that I did write a post over the holiday season but I never published it because it is kind of personal; I still have it saved so I will see what I think.

Back to happy things, I need your opinions so PLEASE COMMENT on this post! Should I make a more personal video about something emotional or a haul video? Maybe something about death? Or depression? Anxiety? Christmas present haul? Shopping haul? What do you all think!

Ps. Tag us on instagram (@incoerciblelife) and twitter (@IncoercibleLife) with some pics of presents you got! They can be sentimental or just ones you liked! See you in a bit munchkins! <3

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Or whatever you celebrate! Sorry I haven't been posting, work is hectic! Hope all you munchkins are having a good day! (Pssst are you following our instagram? Exclusive gift pics are there! Follow us @incoerciblelife.) <3

"You're just jealous."

Now, I am not a violent person, but when someone uses this as an excuse to why someone else doesn't like them, it pisses me the hell off. Now, I have explained this and then people come with my other least favorite thing to say, "It sounds like you are being defensive because it's true." No, it annoys me because people should have more humility and should not think that everyone is just jealous.

I think this excuse really says a lot about a person, it shows whether or not they are humble. It shows if they are too self indulged and if they think too highly of themselves. It's like when someone says "She just doesn't like me because I'm pretty," it is pompous. It's a pathetic excuse; if someone doesn't like you they probably have an actual reason, no matter how delusional that reason is. I also think it's a way that people push off the blame, if someone is mad at you it is easier to say "Oh you're just jealous" than to say "Well maybe I made a mistake." People, in the heat of the moment, really don't like to take blame. So how can you avoid this heat of the moment, push off the blame response?

Just take a minute. Walk away, hang up the phone, stop replying to the text, say you have to poop for all I care. When you are arguing with someone you really have to step back and say "Do I really want to say this?" And doing that can be difficult, especially if you and the other person are loud, but it's the best thing to do. When you take a breath it can really open your eyes and make you notice that they are hurt/upset/angry too. It causes you to really look at their point of view, and even if you don't agree with it, you can accept and respect it. This will also cause you to pick out what is the best outcome for you, you can decide if you want to stay or leave and weigh the consequences. Plus if someone basically pauses the fight it will make the other person have to think as well, and you people may end up finding the entire thing a waste of breath.

So don't say "You're just jealous." It makes you sound like a moron who doesn't have a valid argument. And don't get caught in the heat of the moment, it can be damaging. And just try to understand everyone's point of view, even if it's stupid to you. Hope you all are having a great, "I have to poop" free day munchkins! <3

Leeeet's talk about weight.

So I, myself am thin, actually I am underweight by standards, but my doctors consider me healthy. Now before you say "Oh, men only like a woman with curves," or "You need to eat something" or how about "Oh you're so..... bony." let me point something out.

What if I were to say "Men only like women who are fit"? Or how about "Hey, you need to stop eating" or we could go with "You're so.... heavy." It's rude, and would be shot down, and is a horrible thing to say/think; now why isn't it rude when it is said to a thin person? Just because someone is thin doesn't mean they have all the self confidence in the world. It also doesn't mean that they don't get bullied for weight, because everyone does. I have; I've been called anorexic and I have sat and listened to people basically say "Oh you are not what someone is interested in physically." Now who gave anyone the right to speak for everyone of the opposite (or same) sex? People are interested in different things, and women being shot down because they are thin or thick or not super curvy or over curvy is wrong. Also I must say that curvy is a body type, not a weight; I am thin, but I am curvy, you can be thick and not curvy, or you can be thick and be the curviest woman there is, and now that curvy is being used so much it is discriminating against women who aren't curvy. Being curvy doesn't automatically mean every person around you is going to A. have the hots for you or B. be jealous of you.

Now I have to ask this question; why do you have to tear someone else's body type down to make your own better? If you are thin or thick and someone is insulting your body type you shouldn't have to say "Well this is healthier than that" or "This is what people are physically attracted to, not that." You know what your response should be? "Hey, why do you give a flippity freak about my body? Do you pay for its food? Do you pay for its house? Do you live with it everyday?" You also shouldn't care what people are physically attracted to when it comes to your body, you should be what you like and what is healthy for you and just be happy with yourself. Now if someone comes to you with serious concern for your health, then you should listen, but if someone is calling you obese or anorexic just to insult you you should just say "Well, why are you so bitter?" Because you shouldn't have to explain your body to anyone but your doctor.  Also don't assume people are insulting your weight because they are jealous, it's because they are nosy and stupid (blog post coming up tomorrow about the "you're just jealous" defense. It isn't going to be for using that excuse either).

Let's not defend our bodies by tearing down someone else's. I wish nobody had to defend their body, but this is the world we live in. Also keep in mind that if someone very nicely brings up a concern for your health they aren't insulting you, they may just be trying to help. This is where I can't help and you have to use your own judgement.

Have a happy, body loving day munchkins! <3

Self worth.

So let's talk about something that I think every human, male or female, deals with some point in their life. Self worth. Something we do as humans is doubt and look down on ourselves, we think we are the worst thing possible. We look at ourselves and because we know ourselves we can point out every little bad thing we do, and it's not just you and me, it's everyone. Everyone struggles with self worth, I give it some more than others, but everyone struggles with it. We all go through stages where we doubt ourselves and we doubt the choices we have made, so I am going to tell you something.

You aren't the worse person out there, if you have a conscious and actually make an effort do to the right thing, you are not the worse person. Yeah you make mistakes, I do too, so do your loved one, so does everyone, and if someone thinks they have never made a mistake, guess what, you caught them in a mistake. You should let you be you and you should be proud of you, learn from your mistakes, don't make the same mistake twice, and you will be pretty good. If you really have no self worth you get held back from doing things you can/want to accomplish, which makes you feel less worthy, and it's just a giant circle of bad feelings.

So how do you fix this? I, personally, write, but you can make a self worth board. This is where you write down things you find positive about yourself and post it on a board. Or you can talk to someone, or go on a jog, or watch a movie, or do your homework. Really all you have to do is do something you like.

Remember that you guys are worthy of being okay with yourself and have a good day munchkins! <3

All natural

Natural beauty! Let it shine! Chest rash and all!

Some holiday decorations!

These are just some decorations for the season, blog post to come.

Worries

Let’s get away.

Let’s leave this world behind.

Let’s do this all by shutting up our minds.

Let’s tell them to be quiet, with all their worries and doubts.

Let’s say “We’re not scared” even though we sometimes pout.

Let’s keep our thoughts in a box, hidden under the stairs.

But after we are done with this, Let’s take the poor minds out.

They will dance among the stars.

They will scream and shout.

It may be from anger, or just hungry excitement from being let out.

See this is the problem with hiding all your worries,

They grow, they fester, and turn into flurries.

And flurries fog your brain,

They confuse all of your insides,

So let’s take out our minds.

Let’s deal with our worries,

Let’s smile bravely and know that we will never get buried.

-J.S. 

Having a bad moment?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqv0Aq5bu0c&feature=youtu.be I was on the verge of having an anxiety attack (shortness of breath, stomach ache, everything down to making tea felt rushed, just like when I was a child) and listening to this really helped me calm down a bit. Probably because I always had cats, try it out.

Laughing at yourself

I was just inspired to write this post because while walking up the stairs today I fell, and I really couldn't keep it together. I started to laugh so hard I couldn't breath and it was an enjoyable moment to my very neutral weekend. So I got reminded how important it is to laugh at yourself, which is something my family is pretty good at.

This is the season to be inspired and surrounded by the people we love, with my thoughts on  laughing at yourself I was reminded how good my family is at doing that. We really are people who joke, and we joke a lot, and I realized how I surround myself with people who laugh. I have a lot of friends who laugh when I trip, and I laugh at them when they trip, not because we don't care just because we think it's funny. I really have noticed how all of my family and friends are funny and quick to come back with something smart-ass-ish (That is a real word, trust me). I have also noticed how when I have extremely sensitive friends I change a little bit, I would really joke about outside things and not myself or them. That is okay but so is laughing at yourself. If you are having a rough time where if you trip in public you will become shy or cry maybe you should just laugh, laugh so hard that you can't get back up. If you get nervous and start to stutter during something important just crack a joke and laugh at yourself. If you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at? No one.

I have to say I really think laughter is the best medicine, and a lot of people act like if you laugh during something serious you are nervous. Like the other day someone asked how my relationship with my mother had been and I just laughed, their view was that I was nervous, then when I couldn't answer why I was laughing they seemed to have that view solidified. I laugh because that is how you get through hard times, by looking back and laughing saying "I can't believe I went through that."

So how do you guys laugh? Do you have trouble laughing at yourself? Do you find it easy to laugh at yourself and not other people? Do you surround yourself with funny people? What is your sense of humor?

Hope you all are having a funny day, love you munchkins! <3

Kay so... no video

I worked yesterday so there is no edited video, and I just watched the entire thing and it is all fuzzy. So until I get my new camera no videos, because I would rather produce nothing then something that is not professional. I hope you are all happy with text posts until Christmas! I am going to post a text post later on! Love you munchkins! <3

WALL-E

I'm seriously sitting in my bed watching WALL-E because I'm kinda bummed about the video. :( hoping you guys are having a nice day/night

Uughhhhhh

Okay I have tried filming the video literally twenty times, the first time my camera wouldn't focus, so I tried to fix that and it didn't work, then I messed everything up, then my camera decided to die so I switched to my other camera which is a shitty little Kodak camera, then I looked and the video was all fuzzy, then the lighting got all messed up, then my lovely cleaning woman came and I cannot record with people in my house. I just can't, there ends up being background noise and I have to be super quiet as to not disturb others and the lighting is getting all messed up and just :(. So I will end up filming tonight (maybe, worst case scenario tomorrow) after my camera charges and hopefully I will be able to post the video tomorrow, hopefully. This is not going well, at all. Also hopefully being charged will help my camera focus. I am really bummed about this and I hope your day is going better! Maybe leave me some comments saying it will be okay? Ugh I'm frustrated, love you guys.

Filming the video today!

So I am going to film the jewelry collection video today because some of the jewelry I ordered is (supposedly) arriving today! Hopefully it won't arrive late so the video will be posted before tonight! Sorry you guys had to wait so long for it! <3

Self harm

How do you all feel about self harm? I think it's like a drug addiction that people have a habit of falling back in to. I also have to say that not everyone self harms because they are looking for help, which I have heard quite often. There is this stereotype that the only reason someone will self harm is because they are looking for help, that is BS. I have known people who self harmed, and they were not doing it just to get help. It also isn't something you can just power through, when someone who self harms has a bad day it can be horrible. Also I know a lot of people, myself included, will have what I call "sad days." I put this as a day where you will get sad for no apparent reason, you will wake up and be sad. Yeah you can distract yourself but you really don't feel any better, and it can get to the point where you just want to curl up and cry/sleep. I also know how hard it is to get people to understand this, people have this biological need to explain everything, so they will take what you are feeling and try to use certain situations to tell you why you are feeling this. It's difficult when you just want people to understand and they don't seem to even listen. I have to say that is probably the most frustrating thing when you talk to people, even trained specialists, about your "sad days" that they don't seem to listen totally. I also have to say, if you know someone who is going through this, listen. Maybe they don't even self harm but, like what happened to people I know, they started to act differently. Ask them if anything is going on and just shut up and listen, don't just listen look at them and remember that this is a person who you care about. Someone who is dear to you and they need someone to listen, maybe telling you will inspire them to tell someone else who can help them. And if they are self harming be there for them, and if you are self harming know that you aren't alone. And not everyone thinks they know why you are doing it, you have your own unique reason and you need help with it. Even if you are just having these days where you are sad, know that you can get help. There is no qualification to getting help. If you think you need someone to help you, get it. You don't have to self harm, you don't have to live every moment in misery, you don't have to write poetry about how bad your life is, you don't have to do any of that to get help. You know yourself best. You have a voice, whether it is loud or quiet, you are important. If you don't think you are important to anyone you are important to me, because you are a living breathing person with feelings and thoughts and they can be the best thoughts and ideas anyone has ever had. So maybe you are someone who self harms or maybe you just have sad days, maybe you are upset and just don't want to bother, just know that is is important to me that you get help. And help doesn't just magically happen, but if you hate where you are you can fix yourself. It will be alright. <3

Inspire me!

Come on mr snowman, inspire me while I blog! Post coming up! Writing it now!

Ootd

Keeping it casual this monday with a nice white shirt and my cosey hat! How do you dress for your Mondays?

Instagram

Are you following us on instagram @incoerciblelife? Or on our tumblr @incoerciblelifeblog? If not check it out!

What to do?

Okay so as you guys may or may not know I love to write. It's a skill, I have this great ability to use words, and I just hope I can make them sound as beautiful as some of my favorite authors. You guys may also know that I have been thinking about going into psychology and that has been my major of choice for quite some time, but recently I have been writing more of my stories and poetry and I really want to write. I don't know what to do because I want to be an author but psychology has been my plan for years, and I don't want to be unhappy. People I have been talking to think that I could blog for a magazine and work on getting a book published then, maybe I will make my own website? I've been taking a class about web design, what would you guys think if I started my own website? Or do you like blogspot? Does anyone like my writing? I am freaking out, I basically, with only six months left until I planned to start, changed my entire mind. I don't want to go through the process of going through college to become a psychologist/psychiatrist (which is 8 to 12 years if you are going for your doctorate) and then not use my degree. That is insane, utterly insane, and a waste of time. I know people say that I have this great long life ahead of me but I really don't, I mean I don't want to waste a minute of my life being unhappy. Writing makes me happy, blogging makes me happy, vlogging makes me happy, writing fictions makes me happy, and while psychology makes me happy it isn't as much as anything else. I love to write for you guys, I love to write just in general, and I am trying to figure out how to make this work.

So I just thought I would ask how you guys felt about changing plans? Do you have a job you hate? Did you take a chance on the job you love? Are you with me where you are torn? Hope all of you are having a more steady life than me, love you munchkins!

P.S. I bought more jewelry so do you want me to wait to make my jewelry video or make it today? Also I have been thinking about starting a new book and posting it to wattpad, would ya'll be interested? Opinions are welcome! <3

Just a pic

Loving tea and the season! ♥

Jewelry vid?

So question, should I do a jewelry video? Where I show you all my jewelry and where I keep it and what not? I think it sounds fun, opinions?

Think before you write

Okay so I filmed a video but I don't know if I want to post it. So I am going to write a blog post and see if I want to still post it tomorrow, or make a new video. So I am going to write about something that annoys me.

I have never been cyber bullied, but I have been picked on by people. The worst is when they are much much older than you, I'm talking 50 +. This is difficult because you can't really do anything (especially because I was young when it happened), and I take it this is the problem with cyber bullying. You can't comment to someone "Hey knock it off" and expect them to be intimidated, but when someone insults someone else over the web they can have an effect. This has to be remembered when you comment on something, because if you say something, even if it's on a picture of a skinny girl saying "She has to eat more." I, as a skinny girl, have had this happen, and it hurts as much as insulting an overweight girl by saying "You should eat less."

Think, don't comment on someone's weight. It's none of your business, and don't just think because a girl is skinny that she has all the self confidence in the world. Your words do matter, to anyone. Everyone has confidence issues, everyone has body image issues, don't make it worse by pointing out something new.

So let's all make a pledge to not insult anyone else, to just stay quiet and smile. Remember, your words can make a difference.

Ootd!

Figured I would do a little ootd before todays video! Hope you are having a good day munchkins! <3

I am so unreliable!

So I have decided I am not going to make a video because I am really happy and mellow and I don't want to go on some great long ramble. I am really really calm and happy and content and just so awesome. Something you have to keep in mind is that becoming mellow and relaxed is odd for me, so bear with me. I have also gone through some changes and I am really starting to gain control of my anxiety/sadness. I have to say I feel so relaxed, especially because everyone in my life has kind of realized why I have been acting odd.

I do have to say I think I am going to blog about Christmas. Don't shoot me, I really hate when people start talking about Christmas super early, but I am seriously so excited this year. I am just excited for the future, which is odd. I really am not looking at it with fear, but with this new excitement. Not even an excited just a happy, and I love being happy and just ah! I have to say I like being happy, so if you are sad I need to say tell someone. I don't like to say depressed because I just am scared that I will be self diagnosing, but I was really going through a bunch of just sad days. So if you are going through that tell someone, it helps. A lot.

Back to Christmas, I am so freaking excited. I can't tell if I'm just excited in general but Christmas is exciting to me this year. Last year, not so much, this year I am in the spirit and I'm freaking out and things are changing for the better and just ah!

Ok, I'm going to calm down. Hope you munchkins are happy, I am, and I hope you are all excited for any holidays and if you don't celebrate anything I just hope you are excited! Bye munchkins! <3

Halloween!

Happy halloween! I will be making an OOTD later and probably will be talking about some serious stuff. So check into our youtube channel to see when its posted! Bye munchkins! <3

Be Bold

Be Bold by incoerciblelife featuring NYX

Armani Collezioni red jacket
$685 - veryeickhoff.com

Vest waistcoat
bluebanana.com

Pull Bear blue jacket
$42 - pullandbear.com

Kenzo black skirt
stylebop.com

Topshop skirt
nordstrom.com

Gucci high top shoes
mytheresa.com

ALDO platform pumps
aldoshoes.com

Fresh lip care
sephora.com

Butter London lip treatment
beauty.com

NYX lip treatment
nastygal.com

Outfit of the day!

Did you watch the video? If so you should know some of these items!

The video!

Go check out the video! Ah! So excited! <3

Yay!

Uploading and editing the first of many videos! Hope you all are ready! I decided to start with a light hearted haul video that should be so much fun! Hope you munchkins enjoy it! That is what I am now calling you all, munchkins! <3

We are making our first youtube video today! Links to follow! <3

Should I make videos for the blog? Need opinions! <3

Black and white

Black and white by incoerciblelife featuring black and white polka dot pumps

Closet fit and flare mini dress
$56 - debenhams.com

Mint dress
modcloth.com

Warehouse back zip sweater
$61 - johnlewis.com

Zoe Karssen t shirt
$93 - liberty.co.uk

Zoe Karssen long white t shirt
$76 - youheshe.com

Mandi jacket
$29 - newlook.com

Viva Bordello black and white polka dot pumps
heels.com

Herschel Supply Co stripe backpack
karmaloop.com

XO Design diamond accent bracelet
macys.com

White rabbit fur hat
$91 - black.co.uk

Merci Gustave home decor
ahalife.com

Naked Decor throw pillow
purehome.com

komono Wizard Heritage
$85 - theiconic.com.au

Old poem I found

Found this while reading through some old stuff! Thought it was nice!

My Mother

I have learned that no matter what we will love our mothers. Whether she beat us, yelled at us, or she simply wasn't there... we will love her. Once she leaves for good we will miss her... and no matter what she did we will miss her touch, because no matter what no one's touch will feel like your mother's. No one will ever hold you so tightly, you can't replicate the way she brushed your hair, how no matter how violent she was, after she was sober she would look at you with love and longing for forgiveness. My mother's love was painful and cruel, but it was there. Her love may have been clouded, but it taught me that even the worst of mothers are capable of a soft touch every now and then. My mother also taught me that pain can kill you, but there are ways to speed it up. My mother taught me that without love there is no hate, and that love can turn into hate quickly. My mother taught me that love can drive you insane and that you will never give up on your children. My mother gave me the mentality that we are cruelest to those we love, or those our loved ones love. My mother taught me that with out drugs she could have a mother's touch.... My mother taught me that I am loving to a fault.. My mother taught me when to let go but to never lose hope. My mother taught me that I can't save anyone who doesn't wish to be saved. My mother taught me that music will tell you things about a person they never would. My mother taught me that a pen and paper can save a mind. My mother taught me that I am capable of more than anyone thinks. My mother taught me that I have my own life. My mother taught me that my instincts should be followed. The best thing my mother taught is that I am capable of unconditional love.... That I can love someone no matter what they do.

Polyvore!

I decided that instead of taking multiple pictures and what not of my wishes and haves I would make look books! Hope they will inspire you! Link to the polyvore account! Enjoy!

New tights

Literally my favorite tights! From H&M! Maybe will make a fashion haul video! What do you guys think?

Pictures!

I added the pictures with both text and no text, which do you like best? Please remember that all photos have been taken by us, and if you would like to share them feel free but we would love the credit! <3

Update

So I think I may go out and take some lovely pictures and do that today. Plan on updating them and editing so that they look good. I can only do so much with my cell phone you know, I am planning on getting a professional camera, maybe. Not sure. Anyway just wanted to tell everyone! <3

Instagram

I made the blog an instagram! Follow us @incoerciblelife!

Watch this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SE5Ip60_HJk

Another Picture!

Just made this one! :) <3

This Help: Poem: WARNING, SAD.

*WARNING* readers who depress easily please do not read. And no, I am not talking about drugs or promoting unsafe coping. Please get help if you need it.

This Help.

You help me

But they say you're wrong

You help me forget about it all.

You make me relax like prescribed medicine, 

you help me sleep oh so peacefully.

You know you hurt me, but that's okay.

Cause without you I have anxiety.

I know you're wrong, 

But without you I have to think how to breathe.

What kind of life is that? Forgetting how to see all the beauty. Cause with this goddamn mind of mine I don't just forget to smell the roses I rush right past them. To me the roses don't even exist. That's how I work, there is always some chatter, always something going on, always something I can do better. And that is how it's always been, I hope not how it always will be, and sometimes I feel hopeless like I'll never get to see the beauty.

This poem is not about me personally, I was inspired by watching others and their life choices. Please, if you have a problem get help. 

Photos

I changed the blog's profile picture on Twitter and Tumblr, just wanted you all to know! Thought these were some pretty pics from a little while ago too! Enjoy! <3

I have a rant

I am going to rant and tell you all something that annoys me. I hate when people complain/say life isn't fair to them. You know what won't be fair? When you get smacked upside the head. (Just kidding, avoid violence munchkins) When people do these things I want to look at them and say "Life isn't fair to anyone, stop whining." Because guess what? Life isn't fair, it's freaking life. This is how life works, you work your butt off for the bare minimum and you do things that make you happy to forget it all. So no, your life isn't fair, neither is mine, or your mother's, or your siblings, it's life. It's not fair, it's hard, it's no fun, but you go through it so that one day you can look back and say I did a good job. I hate when people whine, and I hate when they whine and say that they are spreading awareness for what they are whining about. There is a difference from sharing your story and complaining. I don't need or want to hear about how "No one understands me" and "No one gets my pain" you know what shush. Maybe no one is listening because you are complaining, not saying "Here is what happened to me, this is what I go through." That is so much more productive than starting off with "You don't know what I go through" because that makes people, like me, feel like you are a whiny child. So maybe you should think while you are spreading awareness.

I'm sorry, this is harsh, but I can't stand people. Plus I am kinda depressed and can't think of anything happy. I may blog some more later today, and hopefully will be more happy after I eat icecream. Does anyone have any books I can read? I've been wanting to read more, expand the mind. Love you munchkins don't forget to fallow our Tumblr and Twitter (Located on the side of the page) :)

How to get out of your funk

K so I've been going over some of my best ways to feel better and this is what I have.

1. Cry, cry a lot.

2. Listen to Get Lucky by Daft Punk.

3. Listen to Blurred Lines By Robin Thicke.

4. Listen to almost any Justin Timberlake song. 

5. Dance. 

6. Wear a cute outfit that you love.

7. Take a shower with something that smells good.

8. Dance again.

9. Go out.

10. Go shopping.

11. Feel awesome by not caring.

12. Fake it till you make it.

13. Actually start feeling bad again, and let that be okay, because it's okay to feel bad sometimes.

14. Get motivated again.

15. Listen to Eye of the Tiger.

16. Volunteer somewhere.

17. Start to slowly feel better.

18. Go out with someone.

19. Smile a lot.

20. Sleep and have good dreams.

Now while some of these things are stupid they really do work for me. So try it, don't listen to sad music either, because that just makes it all worse. 

Hope you are having a good day! :)

Monday info

Health and life

Hello deary's, so today I don't think I'm going to blog about anything inspirational or anything. Maybe I will put something in later but not right now. I am going on a bit of a health kick because I thought I should probably start being healthier since I am getting older and would like to stay young and pretty for as long as possible. I have been working out, as always, but I have been a bit more solid with it. I have also been drinking smoothies because I don't eat breakfast, which is horrible. I really don't eat breakfast because I don't like to sit down and eat in the morning, it makes me feel like I'm wasting time. I don't like things like granola bars or trail mix so I really just didn't eat anything after my workout which would make me feel very run down and tired and just not very happy. Then I decided to try making smoothies; I normally use one single person pack of Greek yogurt (in whatever flavor I want), one banana (I hate bananas but I can stand them in smoothies), a handful of greens (Kale or spinach, whichever one is available), vanilla almond milk (You can use any milk, I like almond milk because it doesn't upset my tummy and I like vanilla because I don't have to add any honey to it), pumpkin seeds, and cinnamon. This really isn't set in any specific order or reason and I change it up daily, causing me to be a happy person. My younger sister has also decided to join me in my daily smoothie drinking ritual and enjoys it just as much as I. She doesn't even mind that it's green, I think she secretly thinks it's cool to be honest. My life is finally settling down but I am sure that pretty soon it is going to be uprooted once again and shaken around like a snow globe.

That is what I will write about, how to roll with the punches. I have had a lot of punches so I am pretty good at rolling. I think that one thing I dislike about this world is how once I get comfy and happy in my little nest, a giant wind comes and knocks it all down. Then again I would much rather be ever changing than stuck in the same spot, never advancing, never retreating. I would become so bored if my life was stuck in one spot and it never changed. While we hate change I think it is what makes us happy. Change keeps things interesting and different and exciting, so while I hate i,t I love it too. Without change we would become stagnant and useless. We would just fizzle out. Change also teaches us how to adapt, how to become scrappy and have good stories. No good story is anything without an interesting plot twist, so change is wonderful.

Now while I'm saying change I really mean life because life is change. Life is flipped this way and that, causing us to become scrappy and our knowledge to be ever growing. So while being upset about change, or just life in general, just remember that this will one day pass and you will then have a great story to tell people.
Hope you are having a good day! -J

Addiction.

I hurt, I hit, I make others cry.

I harm, I make you want to die.

But it's not only you who wants it to end,

it's everyone else, but especially your dear children.

The ones you say you love, but at night you beat.

The ones who try to help you and keep your problem discrete.

And you think it's okay because they will never leave.

But you seem to forget your problems make them heave.

You add an extra burden, much un-needed pain.

And it's all my fault because I have this sick pleasure to gain.

But you need me in your life and they know it,

So I'm always in theirs, though they never show it.

They put on a brave face, they don't let me out,

Even when we make them want to scream and shout.

That's right, now we're becoming one.

As they get older you feel shunned. 

What you don't know is that they'll always love you.

They won't blame you, because they blame me for all you do.

I'm known as addiction, I hurt, I hit, I make others cry.

And in the end you get rid of me, or you will die. 

I will not.

My soul is as free as a bird, it will not be chained.

My will is as strong as a bull, it will not be stopped.

My love is ever-growing like a vine, it will not be confined.

My thirst for knowledge is like the Sahara, it will not be quenched.

My hunger for greatness is like a lion, it will not be satisfied. 

My ability to survive is like a cockroach, it will not be crushed.

My happiness is like a volcano, it explodes and it will not be contained.

My kindness is like the flu, it will not be cured.

My wit is like a cheetah, it will not slow down.

And I promise to keep these characteristics. For they make me, and many others great. And even though some may find them unnecessary, they are a part of me. 

I am proud of them, and I will not apologize.  

It's your fault. Warning- Swearing.

You're ridiculous, you would never listen.

You took all our problems and blamed it on them.

Now I'm sitting here spitting out hate from my mouth,

Cause all the garbage you put in is finally pouring out.

I don't really care if you're dead and gone,

Cause you know what? You were so damn wrong.

You think you left me all bruised and broken?

No, fuck you, I'm a goddamn token.

I'm nice and cool and fun to hang out with,

All you ever did was call when you were down with it. 

You beat me, your bruised me, you made me cry,

But guess what? I don't even give a damn why.

I don't care what the reason, I don't care if you cared,

Cause guess what hun? You were never there. 

I don't care how you twist it, I don't care how it turns,

You never cared enough to stop the burns.

You always said you were scare of me growing up too fast,

Well motherfucker you made sure the last.

You made sure I was an goddamn adult by the age of ten,

You made sure I grew up a mother hen.

And I know they say don't speak ill of the dead,

But screw it, you filled my entire life with dread. 

Your wishes

It's Wishful Wednesday! What are your wishes?

Tackle Tuesday!

So today I am going to talk about how to tackle being unemployed. Or getting your time cut. I have recently went from working every day to working only on weekends. I am going insane.

I think that the worse thing that is happening is that I feel like I have no purpose. So I am dealing with this by taking initiative in finding a new job. The worse thing to do when you go from working to not working is getting used to the lack of work. You get used to not doing anything so that actually getting up and going to work everyday seems weird. You lose your drive, so my thing is to go and look over my goals, then I work on how to achieve them. I like to research what I want and what I need to do to get it, then I get drive. Like how I have recently been looking for jobs because I hate not working. Literally I hate it. Hate it. So much. Hate. Hate hate hate hate. So I plan on getting a new job in retail because I might as well right? So, research the job you want, or a job you don't hate, and get it. Don't try, don't say "I hope," say "I am going to get this job and kick butt." That will keep you on track. Also think of things you want other than a job, maybe you want a nice house, or to pay next months tuition, or maybe you just want a puppy. You need a job to afford that little puppy, he eats and poops and will need to get fixed (spay and neuter your pets kids), so you need to pay for that. That puppy is like a tiny, furry, four legged child who speaks a completely different language than you. You need to have a job to support him. Seriously though, get a job before you get a dog. Research it.

To sum it all up don't lose your want for a better life. Always want to make your life a great one, and remember that even having a job that isn't your dream, is still a job. You aren't going to start out on top, so you might as well get some experience on your climb.

Hope you all are having a good day! -J

Tackle Tuesday!

It's Tackle Tuesday! What should we tackle?

Found out how to do it

K peoples, I came up with my way to blog. I will try to do every day but I will need opinions too. The schedule will go: Motivational Monday; Because it's Monday and everyone needs some help, Tackle Tuesday; I talk about ways to tackle a life issue, Wishful Wednesday; What people want and my opinions on how to achieve it, Thinking Thursdays; Thoughts on three different world issues, Fun Fashion Friday; My shopping haul for that week, Simple Saturday; Really about anything if even that, Speak Up Sunday; You know this one, it's about speaking up!

So next will be Tackle Tuesday! What should we talk about tackling? And I may start a youtube channel, opinions?
-J

Rough night

Dear lord my night was horrible. My ex officially became an ex and that was lovely (you hear my sarcasm from the screen?). I feel like I'm gonna puke, and pass out but I am okay. Last night was horrible but I'm okay! Been through worse, been through better, gonna get through it, plus I have really awesome friends who were great through it all. But I'm tired. I'm okay though!

Sooo let's talk about things that make me happy and may make you happy! Daft Punk's song Get Lucky makes me happy, it makes me wanna dance. Seriously listen to that, it's great. I'm happy with all my friends and family, because they rock. I am loving painting my nails for some reason, I go through fazes of always having painted nails, it prevents my from biting them. I think it's because I don't like messing up my nail polish. I am also in love with something I've had for a while but stopped using, which is VS (Victoria's Secret) body creams.

K so this one I use in the day time because it smells lighter and more feminine. Plus it isn't too thick. It is Jasmine and Water Lily and smells wonderful! 

Then there is this one which smells like vanilla and is really thick. I use this at night and will probably be using it over the cold winter because of dry skin. It smells really nice and you don't need a perfume with either of them because they are scented. I like this because sometimes I want to smell pretty but not have perfume on. 

Now I haven't really been shopping but I'm planning on going tomorrow, so I will do another one of these soon. Has anyone used Lush? I really think that everything looks cute so I may be using that stuff, because I'm a sucker for anything that is pretty and smells good. 

So do you guys have anything you want me to review? And should I maybe start making videos? Maybe start my own Youtube channel? Give me opinions on what I should buy and try out. Even if it's just stores I should shop at, plus does anyone know a good place to buy Halloween costumes that aren't too expensive? Hope your night was better than mine! Remember to comment and fallow us on Twitter and Tumblr! Plus tell me what you wanna talk about! Think I'm gonna be a bit more serious, or not. Whatever you guys think. Maybe I'll work a schedule on what to do each day? Sorry I'm rambling and my brain is fried. I'll stop talking now. 

Hope you're having a good day! -J

Confidence

So with recent changes I kinda became more confident... and I like it. I am back to my spit-fire, sassy self whose mouth can get her in trouble. I like me like this, I have a smile and I am me. I just said screw it, I have spent the last three years kinda bored and in a pathetic, unhappy state. So I just smiled and laughed and sassed and I am now so happy. I am picking out college classes and looking for a new job and putting myself out there. I love it. I love how much I smile, how I constantly look in the mirror and say "You're a pretty great chic!" Plus I let my inner flirt out because I am young and I like to flirt. I'm fun and smiling and I am coming into my bad-ass self.

So let's talk about being bad-ass. Or we could put it into a more presentable way of becoming more confident. I do this with parties actually, I know that sounds weird but I really love throwing parties. I am planning a Halloween party which should be awesome and I just feel happy. I also let me be me, which can be difficult. I kinda just let myself out, of course staying appropriate and figure if someone doesn't like me they don't have to be by me. And guess what? That rarely ever happens! I think what is helpful is that I have this ability to look at people who don't like me and just say "Okay." Because you don't need other people to love you! You have to live with you, every single day, so act the way you think is right and that you love.

So because I feel good about me, I am telling you to feel good about you. It's a nice thing to love who you are, yeah no one's perfect but that's okay. So have a good life. - A very happy J

Kinda terrified

K so I am starting college pretty soon. I am actually a tiny bit afraid. I keep thinking and telling myself that it will be okay but I am freaking out. I am a grown up and I am excited and scared and a mixture of emotions.

So how do you guys deal with this mixture? When you are moving onto a new chapter in your life, how do you deal with it? I freak out so I research, but that can be bad. So what do you guys do? Do you get excited? Or scared? How do you handle it? What are some methods for coping with it?

Hope you are having a good week! - A very excited J

So ridiculous

So as we all know there is a person in my life who thinks I'm Satan. They make up lies, they pick on me, CONSTANTLY try to get me fired, all because I gave them "attitude" once. I don't put quotations because I'm trying to be smart, I put quotations because I really don't think I have ever given attitude to anyone but my parents, and I have never given attitude straight out of the blue. I spoke loudly, because they didn't hear me at first, but I don't think I gave attitude. If so it was never intentional.

Now you may be thinking, okay so why the big deal? Well this person then began to scream at me with a sleeping baby in the stroller I'm pushing, and long story short I went home. I guess because I never said sorry every time I'm happy this person seems to want to make me miserable. And so today I was called, and I'm quoting, "Fucking stupid."

Now you may be thinking "Well I woulda freaked!" And I wanted to a bit, but I didn't. I said as calmly as my flustered self could muster, "Can you just leave me alone? Just leave me alone. If you have a problem take it up with my boss." Then this person went and said I let the baby I was watching fall and almost "crack her skull open." Also told a lie that the baby was balling from pain, now the baby did fall, but she is learning how to walk. Also, she got back up and began playing again, I did not see even a shadow of a tear.

I am angry, I am upset, but I am pretty okay. I handled myself well and am proud of myself. Something to remember is that people suck, and misery loves company. If you're happy someone else is probably hating it, so just be happy you are that important to someone. You are so special that they see you happy and want to make you frown, so just smile brighter! Handle yourself with grace, make sure to use them as a positive, and just live your life.
-J

Change

Answer our Tumblr question! Don't have a Tumblr? Answer on our Twitter! It's fun! Staying with the change theme!

I can't stop laughing!

This video made me laugh so hard! Found it on my tumblr! Seriously couldn't stop smiling! Go watch!

I think it's getting better

So I have made some MAJOR changes to my life and I think it's slowly getting better. I spent the entire day at the beach and relaxed and enjoyed myself. So I think I will give some advice.

If you want a change don't be afraid to change something. I have made changes and so far it's not too horrible. I think that as we change our wants change, and I am in a new stage which is kind of scary and new but I pushed myself. If you want to change, push yourself. If you never push yourself you may live in this rut where you want change and never pursue it. I am pretty happy and I caused a change that is both positive for me and someone else. I am trying to do more fun things and I enjoy it. I have a genuine smile, and I don't feel stressed. I am happy.

So change something for the better. Whether it's cutting your hair, going back to school, doing better in school, getting out of a relationship, or just changing your attitude, change something. Improve your life. The point of life is to constantly improve ourselves and become better people. Even the smallest change is a positive. :) -J

And it keeps getting worse

Sooo things are getting worse. Hence no blogging. But that means a lot of shopping. So I have now began wearing foundation. I have never wore foundation but I hate how thick it is so I tried a BB cream. I LOVE IT. I use Revlon and it's kinda awesome. It's light and airy and thin so I don't feel like it's caked on. It's great, and I love it. I bought a powder and I use that over it and I love it. I bought L'Oreal Paris lipstick in "Cardinal Plume" and it's super red. But guess what? I love it.
I also went to Target and bought posters because I don't have enough of those. The Starry Night is over my desk and the Adventure Time is in some random spot.

I have no idea if I posted it but I found a sign that made me laugh at the thrift store so I will show you that.

It's probably one of my favorite signs and I also went to TJ Maxx, which is awesome, and bought this little hamper thing.

Because my room has no color other than posters and plants, I decided to go with a bright red. It's a big heavy canvas bag that I am using as a hamper. It adds the perfect pop of color and is useful, so yeah.

Again, I'm sorry I'm not blogging a lot. I feel a little... different. I am going through a lot of changes and I constantly feel sick and I'm indecisive and just everything is a pain. It'll get better though... Right? Right? I hope so. I'm conflicted. And confused. And just everything is just bleh. So wish me luck on this journey called life... It's a shit journey right now. 

Question

I asked a question on both the blog's Twitter and Tumblr, Tumblr question and Twitter question. Feel free to answer, it may help someone!

Possibly the worst weekend ever.

Hey guys... Sorry I haven't been blogging anything... I had most likely the worst weekend in my life. On Friday I had a massive panic attack because I was watching a movie and the people in it were making intimate noises. I proceeded to freak out, I cried and was shaking and I almost threw up. Then I kept having panic attacks on and off until Sunday and now I just am feeling very withdrawn. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere, I wanna sit in my bed and sleep. What makes it worse is that last night I had a nightmare that some guy broke into my house and molested me. Fucking great.

I've gone through this a lot, I get anxiety and then instead of going out and doing things that may make me anxious at first but ultimately make me happy, I just don't do anything. This was apparent when my boyfriend asked me to try a video game with him and I said no because other people would be able to see me play. Normally I would totally do it, but I don't want to have another attack. The most annoying thing is I really thought I was over this. I haven't had a massive attack in probably three years, I really haven't had anxiety since I started working again. I haven't had an attack that caused me to have smaller attacks for days in a very long time. One thing that stuck out was every time I thought of someone touching me, just with a hug or whatever, would make me shrink into myself.

Now I kinda feel sad, you know when you can distract yourself and go out and smile but when you are alone you just feel sad? I have that, not crying just very alone. I feel like I'm on an island and no one understands how to help me because I'm speaking another language, so I just get passed by. I feel like my anxiety is getting the best of me, not controlling me but effecting how I feel about everything. This proves to be a major issue when I am sitting in my bed at night just thinking. Plus I keep thinking I hear things and then I get scared and I have no idea what to do, then I calm myself down and realize it was just my head. I have been to therapy and it doesn't really do any good, so maybe someone has gone through this and could help me? It's weird to think that I am asking for help when I normally give the help. Does anyone have any ideas? I've never been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder but I've also never been really open about it. I just feel like I'm living my life in this constant fear and that it isn't helping.

I really don't know what to do. I'm trying to make myself better but I am really easy to excite. Every time I am nervous or scared or unsure about what to do I feel like I am going to throw up and I start to shake. I really need advice, so if anyone could offer anything or help that would be awesome.... I hate living like this. I hate feeling sad and alone and scared, I hate being nervous and jumpy at everything. I can't deal with it anymore. So if someone could help that would be nice.... Maybe just how you went about getting help for yourself, or how you overcame your issue. I really have no idea what to do because I've always lived by the "Just calm down" policy. But that really doesn't work for me, I act in this totally irrational way and I can't do anything about it. I strike out at people, I cry, I shake, I get sick, I start sweating to the point where there is literally sweat beading down me yet I'm freezing, I get scared at the idea of someone trying to comfort me, I tense up, I curl up into a ball, I act in ways that aren't considered normal, especially in such a stupid situation. I am slowly getting myself to do more and I'm trying the "Fake it till you make it" approach but I really don't know what to do when it comes to the aftermath and attacks. I could use some advice if anyone has any to offer.
Hope your weekend/week was better than mine! :/

Change

Change is something that constantly happens and I hate it. But people change, which is okay. Sometimes they don't change for the good, which is okay. Sometimes change hurts, which is okay. Change is the only thing in life that will constantly stay the same. There are a few things that don't change though, love is one. Even though you may not love who someone is now, you may have loved who they were. Which is nice, to always love who someone was. I don't really know how we know the people we love won't change but we do. We know that deep down they will always be the person we care about, and as long as they don't hurt us I think we keep loving them. My theory is that when you love someone you don't love them because they love you, or because they give you what society says you should have, but because you just love them. You love who they are, how they think, how they not only treat you but those around you. I think that is how you know you love someone and that they won't change. Is that at their core they are what you consider a good person.
I always say "You aren't perfect, but you are perfect for me." And it's true, someone you like isn't perfect, you should never believe someone is perfect, because they aren't, neither are you, but you can think someone is perfect for you. I think the best kind of love is being able to look at someone and say "Hey, you are acting this way." And instead of getting mad when someone says it you should say "I trust them, they love me, I should look at myself." If you look at yourself you may end up saying "They were right!" Instead of ignoring them, the person you care about leaving, and you ending up saying "Shit they were right and the person I love is gone."
Don't expect that just because someone loves you that they will stay no matter what, people have limits. Respect those limits and you will have a great relationship with others.
-J

My story and psychology

I wrote this paper for my psychology course and thought you guys might want to read it. (It got a 100)

I know a little girl who witnessed her mother have schizophrenic episodes and suffer from bipolar disorder. From an early age this little girl was exposed to this disease and watched her mother refuse medication. This little girl would, and still does, as much research about the disease as possible. It was her greatest fear, becoming her mother and refusing the one thing that would help her because she didn’t realize there was anything wrong with her. This little girl would read and slowly learned that she herself could end up with this disease one day. Her genetics allowed this to be possible and there was nothing she could do about it.

That scared her most I think, that she couldn’t do anything because if you get it you get it. You can take your medication but you can’t be forced to, but this girl learned something else. That being raised by her mother would have increased the likelihood, and she was raised by her father. The problem with genetics is that they are very hit or miss, you can get the good ones or the bad ones. Then you have to question how much of it was socially influenced, how much of a mental disease is decided on by the way you live your life.

This is the real question. This girl’s mother was addicted to drugs, an alcoholic, and refused help, so how much of this influenced her disease? Was her disease caused by drugs or was it genetic? And could this girl still get it? What if this girl never did drugs or drank, would that keep her clear of it? This is the problem with genetic diseases, it’s very hard to see where and why the genetics started and what is really genetic. Schizophrenia is terrifying and really detrimental because schizophrenics never think something is wrong them, but would her mother have gotten the disease if she stayed away from drugs? The girl isn’t schizophrenic or bipolar, so is there still a chance of her becoming one or both? If her mother would have avoided all of the things she had done, would she have gotten so bad? This is the problem with pin-pointing behaviors to genetics; because I’m that girl and I’m nothing like my mother. So do I just not have the genetics, or was my mother’s disease caused by drug abuse? It really isn’t known, and probably won’t be known unless I get it, and even then I could have the gene and it just never came out.

-J <3

Weekly (?) Wish

Okay so with today's weekly wish some stuff I own and some I am going to own. First, I bought great boots from Modcloth

They are a little bit big on my calves but that is because I have tiny calves (Is that how you spell that part of your leg?). You can find them here along with the gift I bought my little sister for her birthday. Will tell you how that goes over, I really love the boots. They are fake leather, and already feel broken in, not stiff at all. I would totally recommend them, but again the calf is a hint too big. I also am digging sticky notes, I use them to stay organized and remember what I have to do, but I use colorful ones like this to keep my work-space fun. Plus once I achieve the task on a sticky note I get to rip it off the wall. What I'm planning to do, once I get more organized, is make a sticky note chart of the things I have to do because it helps me stay on track. And I am really bad at focusing so they help. 

Now onto the things I want; this clock from vinylclockwork because it looks awesome. Here is their Twitter, I think they are kinda awesome and really want a clock. So that may be the next purchase, it seems like something my brother would like so birthday gift for sure. I also love all the pictures at Wild Hoofbeats and am planning at purchasing a picture from them. Something I have but want more of is the bracelets from Frosted Willow. 

As you can see I have a vine, a key, and an elephant because elephants are good luck. 

One more thing if you aren't using Spotify for music you are missing out. I love it. I think that's everything, what is some stuff you guys have that is awesome? Would love to hear. 

-J